Mentor: How can I help?
Who is a mentor?
A mentor is an experienced and trusted person who gives another person advice and help, especially related to work or school, over a period of time. - Cambridge dictionary.
How does the mentoring program work in toastmasters?
The mentoring program in toastmasters is an organized way of pairing a new member with an experienced member to ensure individual goals and development are being achieved. - Toastmasters International.
Now you know why you are assigned a mentor immediately upon joining any toastmasters club. Toastmasters International emphasis on a mentor - mentee/protégé relationship because its mission is to develop individuals to become leaders.
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| Distinguished Toastmaster John Joseph. |
When I joined Kuwait Challengers Club, I was assigned, Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM) John Joseph, a seasoned toastmasters as my mentor. I was more than happy. We started off with the ice breaker speech, and he himself evaluated that speech. Moving on he would brief me on the next project and leave me to come up with the speech. I was in awe of his ability to communicate effectively and deliver constructive feedback. After the meeting he would come up to me and give me feedback on my speech.
There was this one speech that I would like to share about with you. I was at the 8th speech of the Toastmasters Competent Communication manual (for those who do not know, the CC / Competent Communication Manual, it is referred to as the traditional manual, which in between 2017 & 2019 got replaced by the new Pathways Program in Toastmasters). Understanding what was required of me to achieve through this 8th project / speech and which skill was I developing was not getting to me. After one of the club meetings, DTM John in his husky voice asked me “Priscilla, it’s been a while, when are you delivering your next speech?” I told him it was not making any sense to me. He said, “read the project slowly, 3 times and you will know what you have to do”. I did exactly as I was told and voila, I delivered the most memorable and unique speech covering “Get comfortable with visual aids”. I am a cake artist, and here was my opportunity to demonstrate (visual aid) how to decorate a cake and cupcakes. To date all present at that meeting remember that speech.
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| “Get comfortable with visual aids” Competent Communication Manual - Project 8. Delivering my speech using visual aids, Demonstrating how to decorate cupcakes. |
I liked DTM John’s style of mentoring, he did not feed me with ideas on what I could do but allowed me to self- discover what I could do. Very often, I have read the project details 3 times to understand better, to give my best, not just in toastmasters but in life’s struggles too, like assembling IKEA furniture, I have looked closely at the diagrams 3 times.
The mentor-mentee relationship like every other relationship works best when both parties work together towards the same goal. I have learned that as a mentee.
1. I need to ask questions.
2. I need to heed to the advice and feedback given to me by my mentor.
3. I need to go up to my mentor and discuss my next speech or challenges.
4. I need to keep a track of my projects, and with the help of my mentor achieve the goals I have set for myself.
I have also had DTM Raymond Pereira and DTM Anil Lobo as my mentors who mentored me to become a confident communicator and leader. Not forgetting my husband, DTM Cajetan who has been my mentor in toastmasters and life. You may wonder why so many mentors? Well, we learn from all, and in toastmasters we can have multiple mentors and can choose to change our mentors anytime.
Interestingly there is a project / speech in level 2 - “Introduction to Toastmasters Mentoring” in every path in the Pathways Program (the Toastmasters International education program) emphasizing on how toastmasters envision mentoring. The objective is to get you to contemplate on the impact and importance of having a mentor.
Once you are an experienced toastmaster you will want to give back to the community what you received. As soon as I had completed 10 speeches of the Competent Communication Manual I was assigned as mentor to TM Aya, and soon I found myself mentoring a few more new members.
Mentoring is a responsibility which comes without power. To be a mentor you need to befriend your mentee, only then will they feel comfortable with you. Now that your mentee is your friend, they will open up to you with their goals, their speeches, their views on the feedback they have received, their challenges in toastmasters and in life.
As a mentor, I have taken keen interest in my mentee's ice breaker speech; 1. to get to know my mentee and 2. to mentor them on their subsequent speeches. Let me share with you what i mean by mentor them on their subsequent speeches. A little more than a year ago, TM Iffat joined our club, and I was her assigned mentor. TM Iffat in her ice breaker speech had shared almost everything about her life from wanting to keep her hair short, to being guided by her parents to becoming a doctor, her struggles with becoming a doctor, getting married and settling in another country, her children, her profession as a teacher, cupping therapist and her desire to be a philanthropist. We were done with the ice breaker speech, and we were ready to dive into the second speech. She asked me what she should speak about. I told her in her icebreaker speech she had merely mentioned seven stages of her life, pick up anyone stage that best meets the speech objectives and elaborate on the point in her life. Today she does not ask me what she should speak about. She prepares her speech based on the speech objectives, using personal stories to captivate her audience.
As a mentor, I learned, I need to:
1. Listen to the ideas, stories, concepts, viewpoints, goals that my mentee has in store for their speech/project, for themselves and for the club. At other times, your mentee who is now your friend may only want to be heard... be there. To be a good listener can be a challenge, but then remember if you practice listening, you are developing a skill.
2. Be Patient with my mentee. Not everyone can run the race at your pace. I work with my mentee on their goals and the timeline they would want to setup to achieve their goals. Then give them a gentle nudge if they are falling behind their timeline.
3. Respect my mentee. One of the core values of toastmasters is respect, and hence it is important to respect your mentee. Respect their time, views, ideas, and decisions. Again, your mentee who is also your friend confides in you. Keep things confidential.
4. Be there for your mentee, especially when your mentee has received a critical evaluation. That is when you need to stand by your mentee and help them see that evaluation as a challenge they need to take up and prove themselves. Be there at other times, when they need to prepare for their speeches, when they need your support to accomplish a project.
5. Resourceful. Provide your mentee with every opportunity to excel. Make them aware of all the resources at hand, help them navigate the education system, encourage them to attend other club meetings, district events, participate at events and contest. Let them know all the things they can achieve in toastmasters not limiting them to their goals, but beyond their goals.
One develops new set of skills, be it a mentee or mentor, it is a win-win situation.
This is only a drop in the ocean. Toastmasters offers many opportunities to be a mentor and to be mentored. One can be a mentor to a member or a club, a contest mentor, an event mentor, a high performance leadership project mentor also known as the guidance committee.
If you want to learn more about the importance and impact of Toastmasters mentoring join me at Kuwait Challengers Club. We have a special mentoring group for our new member who we groom as a group or individually to achieve their goals to self-confidence and personal growth.
We meet on the 1st and 3rd Mondays of the month from 6 pm to 8 pm (GMT+3) at Al Mulla Exchange Head Office, 2nd Floor, Kuwait City and via Zoom through our hybrid setup. Contact me for more details.
Like, comment, share, ask questions, share your experiences, I am listening.
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